Shonda Nicole Robinson
Have you ever woke up in the middle of the night, and regretted something you did the day before. The scene keeps replaying in your head over and over again. You wish you could take back your action, and you keep telling yourself I should have done this, or I should have said that.
You have? Yeah, me too, only it’s not the middle of the night, it’s 4:30 p.m. and I just made a complete fool of myself by showing up at my boyfriends wedding. I couldn’t help it though. All I know is that I was running up the church steps past huge arrangements of red and white roses and white and gold bells. I caught my breath and walked into the church. I sat on the last row so I would go unnoticed. Then the Rev asked did anyone see why this man or women should not be joined in holy matrimony yadda yadda. So I stood up and said,
“Malik you can’t do this, you know this is wrong.”
Everyone turned around and stared at me, like bitch are you crazy. Then everyone stared at each other, shook their heads, and started mumbling amongst each other. Kim ran into the pew crying. Malik just stood there with his mouth open. One of Kim’s girlfriends or cousins tried to act like they wanted to say something but, I didn’t give them a chance. I said what I had come to say and I was out. The wedding was over and I ran to my get away car, that I had left running outside. I called my god sister Tae as soon as I got in the car. I shouldn’t have called her at all, since she refused to come with me. She could have been my back up, if things got ugly ya mean. But she said I was wrong and she would not be my accomplice. I frantically dialed her number on the phone. It began to ring, then she answered and I said,
“I did it.”
“You did what?” she asked.
“I stopped the wedding.”
“No, you didn’t, cause if you did I’m not speaking to you anymore. Come on Shonda I thought you were joking.”
“Well don’t speak to me anymore. I told you I was serious.”
“You are serious? Girl you are crazy.” Tae screamed.
“I’m not crazy!”
“Really! You know how much heart it takes to go and stop a wedding.”
“Uh, I don’t know, a lot,” I said as if I had to think about it.
“No, it takes a sick, crazy individual. “CON-GRAT- U-LA- TIONS it should have been me.” Tae finally laughed between trying to sing like Vesta, this singer from back in the day, who sung about going to her ex-boyfriends wedding. They used to play the video all the time on BET. Now I can’t believe I’m acting this shit out.
Well, I could have let it happen, but I didn’t. No, not after what I have been through in the last year with Malik. Let alone men period. If I told you my story, it would take a book and a half. I wouldn’t know where to begin.
It’s so cliché to say it all began when this happened. So I’ll start my story like this. My name is Shonda Nicole Robinson, I’m twenty-five and I have a story to tell.
I was in Atlanta for six months trying to get my self together, or so I thought. My plan was to go to Atlanta and come up. A.T.L. was supposed to be the new black Mecca right? For everybody else maybe, for Shonda, I don’t think so. My six months in A.T.L., the only thing I managed to do is meet a stalker.
I stayed with my Aunt Jackie in College Park , right outside of Atlanta . I went down there because me and my daughters father Brian, had broke up after seven years of being together. I didn’t feel like being bothered with him or his family. He was so upset that I left, he married somebody else three months later. Atlanta wasn’t really for me though, there were to many damn Yellow waffle houses and forget about trying to learn the confusing ass highways, they didn’t make any sense. Plus, I didn’t have the help with Bree like I had in Philly. I could barely go to the store without having to drag her along, because my aunt rarely baby-sat. She was one of those women in her late forties trying to date young men and go to the club herself. It really was not like home.
I lived in Philly all my life, with my dad and my grandmother, who I call Gram. My mother Angela is a deadbeat mom. Not typical of a mother, but true, but I’ll get on her later. Let me finish telling you about my ex.
My stalkers name was Mike. I met Mike at my job at the Holiday Inn Airport hotel. I was a front desk agent. He had stopped in and asked for directions because he was lost. I gave them to him. Then he came back almost an hour later to thank me for the directions I had given him. He then asked me what was I doing when I got off. I told him going home and going to sleep. He asked me if I would like to go to out with him to breakfast when I woke up.
I took him up on his offer. We got together and it was like we knew everything about one another in a few short days. Mike showed me all around Atlanta . On our first date he took me to Justin’s, on Peach Tree Street . It was really nice and we really enjoyed ourselves talking, joking, and taking in the scenes. After our first date, we went out almost every night. Dinner, movies, even a Brave’s baseball game. I even allowed my daughter Brianna to meet him. That was a major no no. Bree had never been around any men beside her dad and my father. I was really starting to be into Mike until, well, until he became an outright crazed maniac. I mean, I’ll agree all men are a little jealous, but there is a line. It shouldn’t have taken me months to realize that Mike was crazy as hell. My first signs should have been when he began checking my messages on my cell phone. People would tell me they called and I would be like, no you didn’t. But I never got the message because he was erasing the messages. I don’t know how long he was doing that. The only reason I found out that he was listening to my messages, is because he confronted me about a message Brian left about Brianna. I asked how did he know her dad wanted her to come up and he confessed that he had dialed my voice mail by accident. How do you accidentally get my voice mail password? When he wasn’t busy checking my messages, he was asking me had I met anybody else. I paid him no attention.
Anyway, Mike showed his true Gemini colors the night a co-worker asked me to accompany her to a party after work at Vegas Nights. I called my Aunt Jackie to see if she would watch Bree, she said yes so then I called Mike and told him I was going out
“Hey babe. I’m going to stop pass Vegas Nights with Lori from the job okay?”
“You’re going where?”
he yelled in the phone“ So you going to start going out huh? What, I’m not enough man for you. You got to take your little hot ass out.” Mike was going ballistic. I totally ignored Mike’s comments. I thought he must have been pissed about something else and was taking it out on me.
“Listen baby I’m going out. I’ll talk to you later,” I said and I went out with Lori to the party.
I got to Vegas Nights about 11:30 p.m. Already the club was almost
jammed to capacity. Lori and me had to say excuse me every other two seconds, trying to maneuver our way to the dance floor. As soon as we reached the dance floor a guy approached me to dance. He stood about six feet even, with chocolate colored skin, dark mystic eyes, and seductive lips. “What’s up, you want to dance?” the stranger asked.
“Sure,” I responded. The stranger grabbed my hand and we danced on the crowded dance floor. The stranger’s friend invited Lori to the dance floor. They danced beside us until the next song came on and I saw Mike. How Mike found me in a club full of thousands of people, I will never know. But what I do know is he came up to me looking deranged. His eyes crossed. He asked me could he have a word with me.
“No, leave me alone!” I said annoyed.
“Let me talk to you Shonda,” he said as he grabbed my arm.
“No,” I said as I jerked my arm out of his grip.
“Okay. Okay,” I said as I told Lori I would be right back. The guys we were dancing with looked at Mike suspiciously, then they turned their heads. I guess deciding it was better to mind their own business. I walked with him to the front of the club. Mike said he couldn’t hear and asked could we go outside. I went outside with Mike and sat in his car and we talked.
“Look, Mike you tripping, it’s only a party. Okay? I’ll call you later.” I went to exit the vehicle when Mike locked the doors, put the key in the ignition and started the car.
“What are you doing?” I asked as I tried to get out of the car. Mike pulled off.
“What is wrong with you?” I yelled as the car began moving. I couldn’t believe he would just take off like that. Mike said nothing. As soon as the light turned red at the intersection. I unlocked the door and jumped out of the car. I ran in the opposite direction of traffic. I thought Mike would keep going but he didn’t. He backed the car all the way up the street making a loud shrieking noise and drove on to the pavement blocking my path, from running.
“Get in the car Shonda.”
“No leave me alone!”
“Get in the fucking car Shonda,” Mike said as he grabbed me by my belt buckle and started dragging me towards the car saying,
“Sometimes life isn’t worth living when you give a person everything and they don’t give back.”
People were passing by but he didn’t care. I knew someone would call 911 because it looked like I was getting kidnapped. He opened the driver side back door and threw me in. Then he slammed the door, crushing my feet against the window. I tried to sit up and gain my balance, but I couldn’t because he sped off so quickly. Mike ran red lights and was scaring the sit out of me.
“Where are you taking me?”
“Home, where you need to be. All I want to be is happy. But you don’t want to be happy. You want to go out and party. I can’t take having my woman in the club.
Mike pulled up to my house dropped me off and left. By this time I didn’t even care about going out. I just wanted to go in the house. I wiped the tears off my face so Bree and Aunt Jackie wouldn’t see them. Aunt Jackie was laying on the sofa with her powder blue robe on and curlers in her hair, watching E.R.
“You’re back early,” she said.
“Yeah, it was too crowded, so I just came home. Bree sleep?”
“I just sent her to bed.”
I went to the bathroom and glanced in the mirror and saw my swollen eyes. I looked like a bee had stung me. They were so puffy and red. I didn’t even feel like calling Lori to tell her why I left .I just wrapped my hair around, and put on my scarf and went to bed.
I turned on the television and fell asleep watching Jay Leno. The phone rang
“Yeah, you ain’t even call me to see if I was all right. You know what Shonda you ain’t shit.”
“I’m not shit, you pulled me out of a party and I’m not shit. Please,” I said as I banged on Mike. He called back and said the same thing “Shonda you ain’t shit. You ain’t nothing but a Philly whore.”
“What, Mike cut it out. Look, I’m going to sleep I’ll holla at you tomorrow.”
The third time Mike called back I don’t even know why I answered the phone.
“Hello.” I said with much attitude.
“Shonda, you know it’s real fucked up how you treating a nigga, but it’s cool. You ain’t shit. Nothing, you here me.” Okay, by now I was tired of hearing that I wasn’t shit. I hung the phone up and turned my ringer off. Minutes later my Aunt Jackie came in the room handing me her phone.
“It’s Mike,” she said as she handed me the phone.
“Look, it’s over.” I screamed into the phone
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it.”
“I’m sorry too and tired, so do me a favor and don’t call me back tonight.” I hung up the phone. I turned off my light and went to sleep.
A strange feeling awakened me. I felt a presence coming towards me. I opened my eyes and saw Mike standing over me. I jumped up and screamed, “What are you doing here.”
“You don’t want to call no body back huh?”
“Look Mike, leave.” He leaped on top of me like a football player
“Aunt Jackie! Aunt Jackie! Help, call the police,” I screamed.